Even after four months, I’m still getting used to the idea that you’re no longer in this world. And I also feel compelled to write something. Ryan, what can I say. I was shocked when I read the news of your passing. I was surprised that it hit me the way it did, that the loss of someone I didn’t know in person could actually hurt. On the other hand, maybe it’s not so odd. After having watched CKY/Viva La Bam/Jackass for all these years, You guys are no longer complete strangers. I can’t say I grew up with you though… I’m 32, so all of this was not yet airing when I was in my teens. I only discovered this incredible bunch some 8 years ago. I noticed the shows/movies are not to everyone’s liking, people love it (and think you guys are brave) or people hate it (and think you guys are idiots). (wink) I certainly love it and it doesn’t matter how often I watch these DVD’s, you always have the ability to make me laugh and make me feel better when needed. Ryan, your antics, silly stunts and humor will always make me smile. They are fond memories which will always be there.
I also want to express my deepest sympathy to Ryan’s Angie, family and friends. I lost my dad in a car accident four years ago. One of the worst things is the suddenness of it all… the fact that there’s no chance to say goodbye. That in a matter of seconds your world gets turned upside down and that nothing will ever be the same again. And then there’s the question ‘What if?’ that keeps on haunting you. But all the ‘what ifs’ in the world can’t turn the clock back. I know it’s a horrible feeling. It’s a cliché but it’s true that the passing of time makes it a bit easier. It certainly doesn’t feel like that in the beginning, it takes a lot of time and there will always be this empty spot that can never be filled. I do believe our loved ones want us to go on and find happiness again. It’s the least we can still do for them, right?
Ryan was loved by many people and he’ll live on in the hearts of many people.
I’m sorry if this is getting way too long but I would like to end with some lyrics from Anouk.
Who’s the one that makes you happy?
Who’s the one that always makes you laugh?
Who’s the reason you’re smiling?
And dragged you through these time so rough?
Ryan, you did, still do and always will. Thank you for all the laughs and the good times!
Love, Petra.

